The Invincibility Mindset
When you’ve been injured, you are naturally more cautious in returning to activity. The longer you were sidelined, the more cautious you tend to be. At least this is my experience; and with an 18month injury it took years to shake the fear of reoccurrence. YEARS! But like all humans, we do forget and you do think the injury is truly a thing of the past; the invincible mindset returns.
And then you have a scare.
Two weeks ago on a normal run in my normal shoes following a normal mileage week, my foot tweaked. Yes, that foot. The one I broke in 2012 that sent my life in a new trajectory. I have no idea why, but it just pinched in a familiar place near the site of my old injury. I shook it off and went on to climb the sand dunes with my family. By the time I finished, I could barely walk.
But an hour later I was fine. 100%. As if nothing had happened. I was relieved, but spooked. I took an extra day off of running and delayed my speed workout for the week. When I did hit the track everything was fine. No symptoms during the run and only mild stiffness after. I remained weary of running through the weekend where I was scheduled to run the Backcountry Run in Sun Valley. It’s a favorite race, but not worth any risk. So I went through a litany of tests- single leg hops, pushing / pulling and sliding my foot in every direction- and felt no pain. I chose to race and ran well- though cautiously again- and felt great after the run. My hip was sore, but not a sign of the foot trouble. That was Saturday.
On Monday I could barely walk. My foot hurt so badly and all of the disappointment, fear and anxiety came rushing back. I took care through the day and into the next. When Wednesday came with only minimal improvement in the situation, I was in a full blown panic. I called the doctor, begging to be seen ASAP. I cried. I made contingency plans for coaching and kids and summer and photoshoots. I worried about Seawheeze pacing and what it would mean if I was unable to fulfill my duties as a Pace Beaver (no seriously, that’s what they call us!).
The rest of the week was a blur. Doctors and MRIs, friends and teammates advising on everything from the physical to the mental coping strategies. Finally, Tuesday arrives with a foot that’s feel 95% better and an MRI at 8am. Dr. Nilsson said he would call that day with the results (yeah!)... but he didn’t call! My heart raced every time the phone rang. There is a pathetic familiarity of sitting by the phone, just waiting for some guy to call (remember those days before call waiting, and then your mom got on the phone and you were so frustrated? Yeah, you probably remember TVs without remotes too!) Anyhow, I have never received MRI results on the same day as the test, but he said he would call!
The next day I did get the results. And Dr. Nilsson’s team did call. But it was actually my Primary Care Physician who read the results when I happened to be in her office for an unrelated visit. Times like this make me love the electronic patient charts and the ease of dealing with one hospital system.
oh, so what’s the verdict? Yeah that...! I have minor tendonitis in the posterior tibialis, which does connect to the navicular and would produce a similar pain. It can be a tough injury to shake, but I plan to train through with a cycling training block. This can be managed and doesn’t require a non-weight bearing cast. As far as I am concerned, I win!!!
--------- UPDATE ------------
Seawheeze pacing was a total success. As the Pace Beaver in charge of the watch and actual pacing responsibilities, I am so proud to say that I ran each 5k within 30sec of the last and came through the line at 2:09:35! Big shout out to my fellow pace beavers: Kara and Jen! You ladies rock and I enjoyed every step with you and our solid group of runners.
