USATF Club XC 2023
Raceday was an ever evolving adventure for all. The Masters Women toed the line 10 minutes prior to the starting gun, just as the rain began to fall. Quickly, we were standing in a soaking rain, forbidden from doing any more strides and without any warmup gear to keep us dry. I stood in a thin tank and shorts, arms help close to my body; in fact when I tried to stretch out my arms I quickly realized how cold it was out there and pulled them back in.
The starter finally brought us to the line, the gun went off and I jumped out in front of the crowd. I am a really good starter in XC races, too good in fact. Remember Bend anyone?! 15 paces off the line I knew I was out too fast and tried to correct my pace. It felt like I was going marathon pace rather than 6k pace, but the gals weren't catching up and I feared I was out in the lead with an X on my back. Another adjustment and a natural funneling of the race course, and I finally fell into a lead group. I settled in while 3 gals ran away from the pack at 600m. I ran well, feeling strong and trying to stay settled, calm. The damp, grassy incline around the 2k felt strong and easy. I kept with the pack around the track, and along the wettest part of the course. Puddles were forming and mud was everywhere. It felt sloppy so I shorted my stride and focused on staying upright, even as I wanted to extend my stride for maximum distance on the downhill. Rain was pouring but the wind wasn't awful, until we turned the corner at the northwest corner of the course. 400m into the wind, but I knew another turn was coming and surely that would be better? No! Somehow the wind shifter again and the turn through the parking lot was a wall pushing me backward. I leaned in and did my best, but came through spent. I reminded myself that the weather is the same for everyone and continued to push my pace from 4k to 5k.
Here is where it starts to fall apart. On the map, the 5K was marked where we left the dirt path and merged onto the Polo track. In reality, it must have been where the cameras were stationed, closer to the top of the hill. However, I looked at my watch where I thought the 5k would be and saw nearly 20mins. TWENTY MIN 5K? I was running way too hard for that to be real, but instead of questioning an arbitrary mark on a map I allowed myself to be too greatly affected by this negative feeling. I was defeated, from the inside out. I was so disappointed to (incorrectly) realize that in the three years since I last raced, I had lost all sense of pacing and a good deal of speed. I mentally threw in the towel, allowing myself to be passed by two women rather than chasing down the few girls in front of me. I finished 9th with a reasonable time, but I wasn't proud of my run.
When I saw the official results my 5K split was listed as 19:09! This is on par with what I thought I was running and would have motivated me to finish strong. Instead I let an arbitrary mark lead me down a self defeating spiral. I learned a lot, again. It's a lesson I have to learn again and again, and apparently I was due. Staying tough to the end, no matter the result, no matter the feeling, the time, the splits, the competition. Mental toughness needs to carry through the finish line.
The rest of the weekend was absolutely the best! Betties from all branches of the team evolutions came together for an amazing dinner at Cafe Sport. We ran the Golden Gate Bridge under clear skies, played tourist around Fisherman's Wharf, and generally gathered with the best runners for a memorable team building weekend. THAT is what this sport is all about. I am so proud to bring together these women who support each other, building up each and every teammate, whether they are training together or nearly just met. It fills my cup every time.
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